Many people have a deep fear of death. However, for most, it is more frightening to lose a to be loved with whom they have shared decades of life. Spending 20, 30, 40 or 50 years with someone and waking up one day to discover that they will never be by your side again is a devastating reality that many people face and that can be even more feared than the idea of death itself.
Facing a loss can lead to a state of overwhelming grief, But the only way to get over it is to keep moving forward. Although it may be difficult, the grieving process teaches us that lying in bed crying day after day does not solve anything; it is necessary to move on with life and learn to live with the absence.
Resilience as a Way to Cope with Loss
Resilience is our ability to adapt and overcome difficult circumstances. When we lose a loved one, we face an emotional process that varies in duration and intensity for each individual. This ability not only helps us to continue, but also teaches us to recognize the value of what we have lost.
The Scars of the Soul: Testimony of Love
«My scars are a testimony to the love and relationship I had with that person. If the scar is very deep, it is because the love was very great».
This moving testimony from an elderly man reminds us that emotional scars are a reflection of the meaningful connections in our lives. These “scars of the soul” represent not only our grief, but also the depth of our love for those who have passed on.
Scar tissue, although it does not replace what was lost, It can be a reminder that we are capable of loving deeply and, in time, healing. It is a testament to our emotional strength and our ability to continue living and loving, even after great loss.
Grief as a Personal Process
Grief is a unique and individual process. Although there are commonly accepted stages (such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), each person experiences their own path. Accepting and processing this pain is essential to moving forward.
For some people, commemorating their loved one can be a great help. Planting a tree in their memory, keeping a photograph visible or doing activities that you enjoyed together are ways to keep their presence alive in our hearts.
The Waves of Pain: How to Cope with Them?
The pain we feel when losing a loved one often resembles waves in the ocean. At first, these waves are gigantic, about 20 metres high, and they hit us constantly, giving us no respite. Over time, we continue to face these waves, but with longer intervals between them.
Nobody knows what will trigger these waves: A song, a photo, a smell, or a place can take us back to the sea of memories. However, the intensity of the waves diminishes over time. Little by little, they become memories that connect us to the love we share and that, in their own way, give us strength to move forward.
How to move forward step by step
Although the process of overcoming a loss is different for each person, Certain strategies can help you cope:
- Allow yourself to feel: Acknowledge your emotions and allow them to flow. Crying is part of the natural healing process.
- Talk and share: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings. Talking about the lost loved one can bring comfort.
- Find a purpose: Do activities that help you keep going, such as volunteering, practicing hobbies, or caring for others.
- Rituals and commemorations: Creating rituals can help you keep the memory of your loved one alive.
Over time, the scars on the soul left by a loss become part of our history, proof that we loved deeply and were able to heal. Although this process is difficult, it is also an opportunity to learn and grow emotionally.
Coping with grief means remembering, honoring, and moving on. The love you shared with your loved one will always be with you, showing you that even in adversity, we are able to find the strength to carry on.